


Need No Fear

by raleighpuppy



Series: Friends, Teammates, and Everything in Between [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Asexual Character, Clint Barton & Steve Rogers Friendship, Clint Is a Good Bro, Deaf Clint Barton, Pansexual Character, Trans Character, Trans Steve Rogers, i'm going more for a matt fraction kind of clint here ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 10:22:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4097344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raleighpuppy/pseuds/raleighpuppy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve's worried the team will find out he was born Stephanie Rogers. After all, he's supposed to be Captain fucking America, not some queer. </p><p>OR: Steve's worried over nothing and Clint's a good bro.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Need No Fear

**Author's Note:**

> This is came to be out of me feeling bad about my gender stuff, so I wrote something happy. I'm a trans man, though pretty closeted, so yeah. 
> 
> Also, this will become part of a series since I already have something going with pre-serum Steve and Bucky being bros.  
> Also, this may become a multi-chapter work.  
> I'm not sure.
> 
> Somehow this became nearly entirely about Steve and Clint.

Steve takes a deep breath, surveys his team, makes sure they all got back in one piece.

Nat's fine; a bit battered and bruised-- aren't they all?-- but otherwise fine. Bucky's already slumped over in his seat, well on his way to sleep. Originally, they were worried about his sleep patterns, the nightmares, but there's nothing like a mission to tire him out. Sam's whistling a cheery tune, so he must be fine. Clint's hearing aids are busted, but he's not hurt.

Despite his aching chest, Steve counts the mission as a success.

He moves from where he's slumped against the wall towards the back of the quinjet to join Sam, Clint, and Bucky, while Nat flies them all home, only to gasp and slump back down as a deep pain radiates from his ribs. _That's right_ , he thinks, _I took a shot and I told t_ _he team I didn't so they wouldn't worry. Okay._ After a minute of extra healing time-- he figures that should be enough; he's putting a lot of faith into the healing factor, but then again, Dr. Erskine's serum hasn't let him down yet-- he moves to get up again and comes tumbling back down once more.

The wound's in the worst place, he knows, and the bandages wrapped around his chest perhaps too tightly, but then again he's never known how tight to wrap them in the first place and breathing has always been difficult for him until fairly recently in the grand scheme of things so he's never known if it's the bandages that make breathing hard, rub against it. He feels sick and his vision blurs and he's shaking and the team definitely _can't_ know.

It's not that Steve Rogers _isn't_ an open person, it's that he's Captain America, it's that his other team he loved this much isn't around anymore and he can't help but feel that's his fault somehow even if he rationally knows it's not. It's because of the serum. If not for the serum, he wouldn't have to be the perfect soldier, the American boy. Without the serum, he could be that damn queer from Brooklyn with bad lungs and a bad heart and a bad knack for getting in fights in alleyways who wears his best friend's too-big shirts and cuts his own hair unevenly with a pair of dull scissors.

Without the serum, he'd be long dead.

It's just easier to blame the serum.

"Steve? Steve? Hey man, you okay?"

He blinks a couple times, his vision clearing, and Sam's crouched next to him, frowning. Bucky stands behind him, arms crossed across his chest, and Steve feels even worse because if he hadn't done this, Buck'd still probably be asleep, and Clint watches from his seat, his head tilted to the side and lip-reading the conversation from afar. He knows Nat's listening even if she's currently flying.

"I'm okay," he lies. "Just really really tired, so I think I'll just nap here."

Bucky raises an eyebrow. "On the ground?" he asks. "In the back all by yourself?"

"Yep." Steve closes his eyes. "Right here."

"If you say so, man..." Sam sends Bucky a questioning glance and the ex-Soviet assassin mouths 'Let him stay. He's being stubborn.'

Bucky spares his friend a worried glance before returning to his seat next to Clint.

He stiffly lies on the ground with his eyes closed and waits until he hears their footsteps grow farther before relaxing. And then he's out.

There's noise and movement around him and he groans as he opens his eyes to see a very familiar wall; he's at Sam's house on the couch and he's confused for a moment before remembering that it's a Friday. It's movie night. And he figures that of course Sam, Bucky, Clint, and Nat are the type of people who won't let a fight with eight-armed robots get in the way of movie night.

His hand makes its way down towards his chest, towards the wound, and he jumps when he feels the material's different; someone changed his shirt. _Fuck fuck fuck someone saw oh my god_.

"Hey, bro," Clint greets from next to him on the couch. He has new hearing aids in; they must have stopped by the Tower first. "You feeling any better?"

He takes a deep breath, glad it's only Clint and not like...Okay. He doesn't know who he doesn't want it to be, but he's oddly relieved it's Clint because he knows Clint's....Okay. He doesn't know what the word is anymore, but they used to use "queer" and it was only ever used like an insult. Though he's not too sure what exactly what asexual and panromantic mean, he knows Clint uses them to describe himself.

Point being, he thinks he can trust Clint.

"Yeah," he answers, slowly sitting up. "Who looked at the gunshot wound?"

"Bucky did." He slides a paper plate across the table. "He was pretty insistent on it bein' him. Think he was real worried 'bout you."

"He tends to do that." He grabs a slice of cheese pizza. "I think he forgets I'm not five feet tall anymore and can handle myself just fine." He takes a bite before realizing they're the only people there. "Where's everyone?"

Clint laughs. "They went to get beer and a movie from Redbox, while you and me hold the fort."

He nods, suddenly a lot less brave than he was five minutes ago and it's funny how bravery works, how he can take on multiple guys twice his size in an alleyway, but talking to a trusted friend, a friend he's almost certain wouldn't react badly, is enough to paralyze him. It's hard and he's tired and he suddenly feels very very old.

"Hey Clint." It comes out much quieter than intended, much more serious and heavy too. "Can I ask you a question or two?"

"Yeah, bro." He moves so he's lying on his stomach-- it's a big couch; there's room for that-- props himself up on his elbows, and then rests his chin in his hands.  Despite his body language, he's serious; Steve can tell. He jokes and is casual like Steve doesn't talk; it's armor. "What's up?"

"'m not sure if this is a weird thing to ask or anything, but is "queer" still used? Is it still not really all that friendly to say? And what's panromantic mean? And asexual too?"  

"Awwww Steve." He sighs and Steve stiffens. This was a bad decision. But he's smiling a little. It's very faint, but it's there. "That's a lot of questions, bro, but I've got you." He sits up. "Yeah, it's still used. Still not too nice, but it depends, y'know? Like if someone were to call me a queer and insult me, I'd be pretty damn pissed, but I'll use it to describe myself. If someone else doesn't like it, I won't use it. S'all about being cool to others. Panromantic means I'll kinda date anyone, regardless of gender, like they can be male or female or agender or whatever; I don't care. Nat's asexual too and that just kinda means we're not too down on that whole sex thing. That all, man?"

He's about to nod when he decides to take a chance. "And what about-- I don't think there's a word for this, really, or at least there didn't use to be one--" He sighs. "Forget it."

Clint frowns and tilts his head to the side. "Hey, man, I don't wanna press you, but they others'll be back soon, so if you have anything to say, now's the time." He pauses, his voice softening. "Also, don't forget we're your friends and we care about you."

He nods before starting again. "So, it's okay to have, um, dated different people, some of which are the same....uh..... I've kind of been with fellas and dames, and is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's okay. Completely fine." He pauses. "Oh, so you and Peggy, right?"

"Yeah..."

"But who's the guy?" He raises an eyebrow and Steve sticks out his tongue.

"A certain jerk you know very well."

"No kidding!" He laughs. "You and Barnes, eh?"

"Yes, me and Buck." Steve nods.

"Still?"

"I mean, we hold hands and have kissed, if that's what you mean," he answers.

"Oh my god, you're killing me, Rogers. You're a coupla cute old men if I've ever seen one."

"We're not cute." He pauses. "Well, maybe Buck is, but I'm not cute, Barton."

"Mmhmm, you're cute."

"Oh, and one more thing, is there a word for when what you are isn't the same as, well, what you have?" His hands are shaking and he feels a pool of dread building even though Clint's been nothing but nice and helpful.

"Oh, dude, do you mean being transgender?"

He releases the breath he didn't realize he was holding and his voice, full of relief, wavers when he speaks. "There's a word for it?"

"Yeah, there is. Are--"

"I didn't want anyone to check the gunshot wound because I've wrapped my chest with bandages," he admits. "And they'd have to take them off to check it, and then they'd know." He doesn't finish the sentence; Clint can finish it on his own, he figures.

"Awww dude." He frowns before grabbing himself another piece of pizza. "You're not supposed to wrap your chest in bandages."

"Why not?" He defensively crosses his arms. "What else am I supposed to do?"

"Dude, I've gotta get you a binder," Clint adds. "They're made out of a more flexible material, one that shouldn't constrict your chest at all like I bet the bandages do. Does your chest hurt?"

He nods, eyes wide. "Is it not supposed to?"

"Oh god." He groans. "You're killin' me, Rogers!"

"Clint." He good-naturedly and softly kicks his friend's side. "Knock it off."

He sobers up. "Yeah, you're not supposed to do that and it's not supposed to hurt. You could break a rib 'cause the bandage material doesn't really give when you breathe. A binder will give when you breathe, so we've got to get you one of those, man. We can order one online."

"Thanks."

Steve smiles and it's a real genuine smile, something Clint realizes he hasn't seen from him without Bucky around. He reaches over and messes up the blond's hair.

"There's the Cap I like seein' around." 

Behind them, raucous laughter breaks out and the door flings open, and Nat, Sam, and Bucky slosh in, soaking wet, but bearing beer, a DVD, and huge grins, even Bucky who used to shy away from interaction with the others, but now seems to more than enjoy it.

"Hey Stevie!" he greets and his grin is enough to do unspeakable things to Steve's heart. He tosses him a bottle, ignoring Sam's protests about how throwing glass bottles in someone else's house is wrong and if you do it, Barnes, I swear to God... "I picked up your favorite."

"Thanks."

Sam pops in the movie before settling down on Clint's other side with a piece of pizza. Bucky takes Steve's other side and Nat lies with her head in his lap. Eventually, A.K.A. within the next five minutes, all order disappears as the usual sitting arrangement-- of course they all have their spots-- dissipates and the five end up lying next to and on top of each other with poky elbows and knees, and entwined limbs.

"What movie's it?" Steve asks.

"I swear to god, if you got Space Jam again, you three are banned from movie duty," Clint announces. "Forever."

Nat holds up her hands in mock-surrender. "It's not Space Jam, I swear."

The title sequence flashes across the screen and Clint groans when the title flicks across the screen: Sharknado.

Nat and Sam laugh, and then high-five while Clint continues to dramatically groan. Steve and Bucky don't quite get it.

A week later, Steve finds a package on the breakfast table and it's apparently for him, but he doesn't remember ordering anything, especially not online. But there's a very nicely folded piece of lined paper placed on top of the box and he's alone except for Bucky and he figures whatever it is, Bucky can see it too, so he picks up the note. Besides the nice folding, the letter doesn't look too nice; it's wrinkled and yellowed and there's a stain of some sort, but he opens it anyway. He's greeted with a nice stick figure rendition of himself and Clint, and Clint's messy handwriting.

_Steve!!_

_I hope you remember our conversation and how I said I'd order you something online. If you remember, here you go! If you don't, surprise! Anyway, I got you two so you don't have to do that with bandages anymore. Please promise me you won't. That's not good for you and I can't have one of my best bros hurt. _

_Also, we all care about you. Tremendously. Seriously, bro, you shouldn't have to be so scared about telling us. I promise you none of us will react badly. Tony may make some gross jokes just cause he's an ass, but he doesn't really mean it (amazingly, he cares!! about you too. I might even say loves. Tony is a huge sap and he loves us all ok man) and Sam will probably kill him. That is if Bucky and Nat and me don't get him first.  
_

_Have a nice day!_

_the coolest Avenger,_

_your best bro (aside from Bucky who I still can't believe you, Steve Rogers, are actually physically dating in this century, like you guys kiss and stuff),_

_Clint_

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise! Pretty much all the Avengers are queer. Wow, amazing that I've written a ton of queer characters. More on that will definitely come up later. 
> 
> Clint's hella ace and panromantic af. Nat's ace too. As for the others, you'll see.
> 
> I was aiming for a more Matt Fraction type Clint and I hope I got that down. Also, Clint is totally that person who calls everyone "bro."
> 
> Please feel free to leave comments and kudos!! Thanks for reading!


End file.
